OPINION: FITZGERALD, NORTHWESTERN HAZING, & MASCULINITY
I’m a 2012 graduate of Northwestern & Gator Bowl Champion.
In 2008, I proudly accepted a full athletic scholarship from Pat Fitzgerald, and never looked back. In 2013, I earned my Master’s in Sports Management (front office operations), and since 2018 I’ve supported countless men & elite athletes in developing themselves as expert connectors & leaders both in and outside of their careers.
Today, I’m putting my experience to the ultimate test: commenting on the inner-workings & lived experience within collegiate sports.
I’d like to take a moment and say…
While I had 24 scholarship offers from arguably ‘better’ options, I chose to attend Northwestern for a number of reasons. Because my brother attended 2 years ahead of me, I got to meet & know Coach Pat Fitzgerald from 2005 to 2008, and his character, authenticity, & ambition drew me to NU over the likes of Oklahoma, Clemson, Vanderbilt, and Stanford.
I didn’t choose Northwestern. I chose Fitz.
And I chose his leadership because I felt like he was one of the only coaches who actually cared about the livelihood of his players, far beyond their playing careers. Was he perfect? I’m not ignorant enough to expect him to be.
But he believed in building boys into men through sports - an ethos I still carry in my work to this day. Sports, after all, is a proving ground for your mental & emotional character. And Fitz is one of the absolute best when it comes to embodying & training character. So to hear of Fitz’s firing & the allegations against the program… it’s been heartbreaking to say the least.
Over the past week,
I’ve been asked to share my perspective on the Pat Fitzgerald x Hazing scandal at Northwestern.
I’ll briefly address a couple of questions that are probably burning in some readers’ minds:
Hazing was not part of my locker room culture, because nothing I experienced or witnessed was required. I believe, by and large, NU’s locker room culture had to be among the most tame when it came to traditions.
“Running” was never performed in my locker room and I have a hard time believing it happened in the current one at NU (this is the first I’ve ever learned of the idea). However voluntary naked jokes & traditions were plentiful (albeit voluntary). It was a locker room, after all.
As a player, your locker room is your sacred ground. It’s a place for true camaraderie to form, and where trust is built. An important element of a team’s development is based on some things, within reason, staying “in the locker room.” To that extent, I believe Fitz didn’t know of any true hazing. If he did, he would have stopped it immediately.
If I’ve learned anything these last 10 years
…of studying psychology, mental performance, & emotional intelligence… I’ve learned that the true character of a man is shown when his back is against the wall. Every man will fight for his own dignity, if cornered. And human beings are incentivized, first and foremost, for survival. And with that comes the ego’s necessary desire to defend itself, and refuse being seen for what it truly is: wounded and imperfect. I’ve seen that most of us become better & happier human beings once we do accept that we are imperfect. All of us. And to expect perfection is a loser’s game.
On another note, I’ve witnessed how a lack of conscious & open dialogue (and limitation on free speech in our spheres of influence) creates a MASSIVE DIVIDE in our society and organizational structures. The impact of cancel culture on our courage to be authentic… is toxic & damaging to our mental & spiritual health. When a man cannot speak openly his perspectives & lived experience… he is no longer a free man.
On yet another note… when a man is held victim to his old stories & beliefs, and not willing to grow & evolve his ways of thinking… he, too, is no longer a free man. Unfortunately, many of the loudest voices in this conversation feel victimized & seem to be driven by their feelings & reactions to circumstance. This resembles our culture as well, 97% of which operates from a subconscious level without realizing their frustrations & resentments are a result of their own internal projections.
So when I look at the Northwestern situation,
…I recall upon a few things I know to be true:
how a man handles conflict is a true test of his character
perfectionism extends beyond the playing field, and shapes our culture’s need to cancel anything blemished
the loudest & most violent voices tend to win battles. but the war is won through truth
I’ve been known to be a middle-man of sorts, a guy who can see the BOTH/AND in complex & controversial situations. A connector. A facilitator of important and uncomfortable dialogue.
This is one of those uncomfortable dialogues.
We’re at the intersection of many complex issues:
the growth of LGBTQ+ discourse & ideology over time
toxic masculinity vs. healthy masculinity
boys being boys vs. crossing the line
being “liked” vs. being respected
DEI vs. affirmative action in schools
the list goes on…
Addressing them all in a short article is not something I’ll do here. Instead, I’ve decided to share with you:
6 key points & leadership messages to men, players, & the football community everywhere:
Fitz is one of the greatest there will ever be. And yet, he has his flaws.
Cancel culture will lead you to believe there’s a perfect head coach out there. No man is perfect. And to expect anyone to be void of bias, mistakes, and miscalculations… is just unreasonable.
Fitz is not superhuman. But he’s definitely an incredible coach. Is he the guy to bring the ‘Cats back to perennial prowess? I’m not sure I can make that call.
Regardless, a man’s internal need to meet perfect expectations is often derived from an internal unmet need to feel approval & wholeness. For many men and athletes, finding wholeness internally is a matter of addressing where their sense of “brokenness” or “not enough-ness” originated. Unfortunately, for many people… this originated long before you stepped on a college football field. It started with your parents & coaches, as a young boy.
My message: take your heroes off their pedestals. expecting them to be perfect implies you expect yourself to be perfect. take it easy on yourself. and heal your relationship with perfection.
There’s no shortage of sloppy, de-funded journalism today.
Whether journalists are calling Fitz a bigot, misleading readers to thinking all of the allegations were “100% true,” or sloppy spelling: i.e. “Fitzpatrick,” unfortunately, we can’t believe everything we read online anymore (including my writing!). We have to read everything with poise & a fine tooth comb.
My message: beware of headlines, and be discerning about the information you’re consuming. Assumptions lead to disconnection. Connect, ask questions, and be honest.
The emergence of gender & sexual fluidity has likely shifted locker room dynamics.
Compared to my time at NU, the generation in college today is more fluid sexually and gender wise. When I played, we had no openly gay football players anywhere in the world, to my knowledge. Today, rosters are peppered with openly gay individuals. As are our military, and other spaces steeped in what most would consider “traditional masculinity.”
This adds complexity to how different sexualities engage in a traditionally naked locker room. Today, sexuality is likely to be a conversation today inside locker rooms. And therefore sexualized acts of same-sex variety may actually be less reported, within the culture. Especially considering the fears of being called “phobic” for speaking out about sexualization.
Years ago, sexuality in football simply wasn’t (for better or for worse) a topic of discussion. I don’t envy modern day coaches in their quest to stay relevant & compliant with their teams. It’s a hard task for anyone, especially someone such as Fitz, who was previously the youngest coach in the game, and deemed a “players coach” by all.
My message: coaches & leaders everywhere must make an effort to be in touch with their younger teams & their changing cultures, and be empathetic to their needs. You don’t have to adjust to everything, but listening goes a long way.
There’s a difference between hazing, “earning your stripes,” and “Good Clean American Fun”
While I can’t speak to the culture or actions of the current program (many of the allegations seem exaggerated, as the “entire team” outlined in their open letter), in 2013 my senior class left the program in a solid, clean, and respectable manner. there was, within reason, some locker room fun that was had. There was nudity, jokes, and team building. This was par for the course in college locker rooms at the time. And I can expect many programs across the country ran much looser ships than our locker room.
In general, with our higher academic standards… we seemed to recruit from more well-off families & schools. Typically, you could predict higher character & more tame behavior. On the fringes, of course, you had extreme abnormalities of character. But on the whole, our locker room was tame, in comparison.
When it comes to team building and identity formation… rites of passage are important components. In many ways, our culture is devoid of these thresholds that establish adulthood, manhood, and commitments throughout a man’s life. The team’s traditions in the locker room at NU had a place in our culture and our souls as athletes and as men. Were they the right traditions? That’s a tough question to answer, and worthy of examination.
Earning your stripes involves doing what every newbie or intern does at work - the grunt work, putting in your legwork, etc. And this has it’s place in many cultures. Do you want to get rid of these, altogether? I don’t align with that rhetoric.
My message: A man who demands respect will never receive it. He must earn it. We become more powerful when we embody our leadership & step into discomfort as a society.
One bad egg can ruin a good dozen.
I’m a firm believer in nipping things in the bud when we see them. Easy in theory. Much harder in practice. Especially when you’re a young football coach (youngest in the league at one time).
One thing I think holds Fitz back has been his willingness to make exceptions and play favorites, in exchange for what he thought would be good football. I witnessed corners being cut in regards to player behavior, toxic attitudes, & disrespectful coaches.
The rule of thumb is this: a rule is a rule. For example, if you’re going to set the bar that racist remarks are intolerable… uphold it. Don’t tolerate it. According to reports I’ve received from players on the Offensive side of the ball, there were coaches that made racially-motivated comments. And I believe Fitz could have done better in handling these, expecting he knew about them.
In my opinion, change should have happened quicker under Fitz’s garde, especially among his coaching staff that at one time was the longest-tenured staff in the country. The only thing worse than a bad egg… is an aged one.
My message: Don’t be afraid of change, and putting smarter & more virtuous people in your ranks. Don’t let your ego keep you from professional excellence, integrity, and compliance.
Athletes have a larger voice today, and more freedoms, which requires coaches & programs to be more accountable to their promises & standards.
With the onset of NIL, it’s important to remember that Northwestern is no stranger to the idea of players’ rights. NU is the home of the 2013 run at unionizing by our once-famed Quarterback Kain Colter. The program was perceivably dragged through the mud in the process, exposing truths that were not unique to Northwestern, but widespread around the country. Much of this felt unfair to the program… but in my opinion a much needed evaluation of how the business of college sports works.
Today, the blessing of NIL & the transfer portal… is also a curse. It leads to MORE noise & confusion, as well as more freedom of speech & expression. These young men are just that… young men, aged 18-22, give or take. And I certainly said and did some things as a young player I regret today.
The beauty in all of this is that coaches & institutions are held to a higher standard of accountability. Athletes can say more of what they want, and are less legally bound to stay with one team throughout their college career.
If you have athletes transferring out of your school… that’s a sign you have either lost integrity & trust, or a competitive advantage with those athletes. One way or another.
My message: Freedom of speech is now commonplace in college sports. Buckle your seatbelts for more stories like Fitz’s. But don’t expect many changes, unless that coach is already on the chopping block. It’s a business, after all.
Final word:
It sounds like Fitz is lawyering up, which is great. I also hope the current team rallies around these topics, grabs the team by the horns, and sets the tone for an exciting year ahead. So if I were on the team, knowing what I know, I would consider a boycott & demand my coach be reinstated and reintegrated. And I would threaten entering the transfer portal, en masse. There’s power in numbers.
————-
Quentin “Q” Williams is a high performance coach for men, athletes, & executives seeking to exponentially grow, lead, and fulfill their purpose. He’s the founder of World Class, The Man Up Movement, and mensmeetup.com. He leads 10-week athlete EQ programming through a third-party nonprofit, Athletes Soul - which fund the program in full for competing athletes everywhere.
Learn more about Q. here.
Follow Q. on Instagram.
Learn more about Beyond Sports, on the Athletes Soul Website.